Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Reasons Why My English Teacher Has Concerns For My Sanity:

Does anyone else have that one group of friends that you just act insane around?  I certainly do. (We'll call them L, J, and A.)  And we all have English class together  I think you can see where I'm going with this. :D

Sometimes we do things we probably shouldn't.  We're not bad, don't get me wrong.  We're the "quiet" group, the group of nerds whom nobody at the beginning of the year suspected would do more than read books during class.  But it's true what people say-- "It's the quiet ones you've got to watch out for.  They're the thinkers."

Throughout this freshman year, we've been messing with our English teacher's mind.  For the purposes of this blog, I'll call her Mrs. Snickerdoodle. (That's not her actual name.)  Looking back at some of our recent shenanigans, I think she probably worries about us sometimes.  Here are just a few examples of why she has cause to question our mental stability:

Note:  Some of these are quite awful.

Reason #1:

Mrs. Snickerdoodle assigned a page in the Grammar book on reflective and intensive pronouns.  We were encouraged to get creative with our example sentences.  J and I exchanged grins, and you can probably imagine where this went.  We composed some funny ones, like "Way to go, Sherlock; give yourself a gold star."  and "Stephen hit himself with a stick." Then there were these:

"There's nobody in the world but myself and the Voices."

"We escaped from the asylum all by ourselves."

"I accidentally shot myself in the leg once."

"L, Rebecca, did you hide the body yourselves like I told you?"


Reason #2:

When asked to draw an inspirational poster for the football team, we all gathered 'round J's desk with our pencils.  The team was playing the Eagles that night, and after much debate, we drew a picture of an eagle being shot down by a knight with a flaming arrow.  The caption?  "The Eagles Are Going Down In Flames."

This occurred quite a few more times. Anytime we were told to make an inspirational poster for extra credit, we drew a picture of an animal burning alive.


Reason #3:

In October, when asked to write a scary short story, the four of us banded together.  Other kids in our class sketched together cute little plots about ghosts and Indian graveyards.

We wrote a bone-chilling tale about a five-year-old serial killer called "Little Timmy."  Little Timmy, as the story goes, has a friend named Paul.  But Paul isn't like most friends-- he lives inside Timmy's head and tells him to do things.  Timmy does Paul's bidding, which most commonly is murdering people by throwing them into an industrial-sized wood chipper.  Timmy then gets rid of the remains with a hose, and also the help of his large pit-bull, Cerberus.


Reason #4:

We sometimes exchange random tips on successfully hiding bodies.  We also like to tell creepy jokes in her hearing.

"What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead bodies?"

"I don't know. What?"

"I don't have a Ferrari in my garage."


Some of the looks on Mrs. Snickerdoodle's face are priceless.  Yeah, so... maybe it's time for us to give her a break. :)

29 comments:

  1. That sounds really fun, actually! Thats totally dumb, but that is hilarious and it sounds really awesome! I can't stop laughing, now, Rebecca! This was a priceless post! Love it<3
    Clara

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    1. Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for stopping by! :D

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  2. Haha these are awesome...I'm so thankful for people who aren't afraid to be themselves :)

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    1. So true! I think it's a blessing to have crazy friends. :D They keep you on your toes.

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  3. Haha, this is so awesome, I love your personality. : )
    ~Kathryn

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  4. "Does anyone else have that one group of friends that you just act insane around?" YES. Definitely yes!!

    And this was absolutely hilarious :)

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  5. Wow! Which of your friends is the craziest, J, L, or A?

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    1. Hmm... it's a really close tie between J and L. It varies from day to day which one is crazier, though. :)

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    2. Do you ever dream about the goat rebellion?

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    3. Oh my gosh, Jessie, is that you?!

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    4. Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

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    5. Yessss! In that case, J is definitely the craziest.

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    6. That`s as bad as saying coffin every time your teacher walks by.

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    7. I am not nearly as bad as L.

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    8. I beg to differ. You are the craziest, while she is the creepiest. Oh, L, nice of you to join the party!

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    9. I`m not that creepy.

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    10. I don`t need your sass.

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    11. Oh, please. L is the one who sends me creepy texts when I'm trying to sleep. Example A:
      "I was woken by my wife in the middle of the night. She warned me of an intruder. The only problem is, she was murdered a year ago by an intruder."
      Example B:
      "Baby's laughter is the sweetest, happiest sound in the world. Unless it's two a.m. and you don't have a baby."

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    12. You make me sound like a psychopath. I`m not. I just have moments where I act like one.

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    13. Thanks, J. At least you understand.

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    14. Of course, L. Good 'ole Rebecca does too. She just doesn't want to admit it.

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    15. I think calling her good is pushing it. That`s just what she wants people to think. We know the real truth and it isn`t very pretty.

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    16. Gasp! You said freaking!

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    17. Gasp! So did you! *faints in horror*

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    18. You`re so freaking dramatic.

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Go ahead and drop me a comment-- I appreciate them so much! I try to reply to all comments you leave me as quick as I can, whether it's on my blog or yours.
Love,
Rebecca :)