I graduated somehow? and other updates

This post is mostly for my future self looking back on the last month of high school, but you guys can read it too if you want.

Now that high school is over I have free time? What a concept. I just couldn't manage blogging when I was away from home for 10 hours daily and then had 4 hours of homework on top of that. I tried. I cried. It wasn't a good time.

(how to put on a mortar board correctly should have been a class in itself)

1. Senior Prom

Going to prom with friends was definitely the best route to go-- I won't have to look back at prom pictures with bitter feelings about some ex I went with. I had fun, and I felt like a real teenager for probably the first time in my life.

I technically had a date for the first time too, although I had to reassure my dad that we were just going AS FRIENDS™ so he wouldn't greet David at the door while polishing a rifle.

I forgot David's boutonnière, discovered I'm terrible at slow dancing, and was viciously attacked by the chocolate fountain. Ah well. 

I ended the night in PJs at my best friend's house with Netflix and snacks. 10/10

I don't know who I should credit this to because it was sent to me but I love this picture.

Not my photo either but at this point what matters?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My hair gives a cry for help

Sister: Nice hand placement.

Me: I didn't know what to do with my hands. I don't know how to pose with tall people.

Sister: It looks like your grabbing his butt.

Me: I aM NOTTT

2. Last Band Concert

Many emotions and wrong notes.

Guess we'll just conduct ourselves

Probably the last time in my life I'll be first chair

Cuties

3. Graduation Party

I'm not really a party kind of person, but my family threw me a pretty cool party and I didn't hide in the corner the whole time.

Décor

Brothers lurking over the food

mom are u ok

4. Award Night

At my school we do this kind of stupid thing where they refuse to tell you how much scholarship money you raked in until award night. Even if the scholarship committee for certain ones you applied for met in December.

Me in April:

"So can I know like the amount I got--"

Guidance Counselor: "We like to keep that as a nice surprise for your graduation week."

"I hate surprises."

"You'll appreciate this one."

"So I got money?"

"I can't tell you."

"I need to know if I should apply for more scholarships or if I'm good--"

"Wait for awards night."

via GIPHY

$1,500 plus $5,000 a year in renewable scholarships. Not bad.

via GIPHY

5. Graduation

I was in a very competitive class and I graduated third. You could say I'm a little proud of myself.

The highlight I'm wearing is called My Oily Skin

All of Knights Honors contemplates diving off the stage

Not too shabby. Only 1/3 of the class has dropped out since freshman year

I'M FREEEEE

 No one threw their caps and I'm honestly so disappointed. I was ready. You all suck

Reason #1 I didn't drop out sophomore year

Reason #2

Reason #3. Even if I did intimidate her in kindergarten, we've been friends ever since.

Nathan's shades are cooler than I'll ever be

Collecting Thoughts

What if you could gather thoughts the way you can gather pebbles on the beach? Or butterflies with a net? Or blossoms into a bouquet? And you could just line them up neatly and consider them one by one?

My thoughts never seem to collect themselves that neatly. They gather like snowflakes into a drift during a blizzard, or a waterfall into a teacup.

I've had a lot of time to gather my thoughts this past week. School has been out due to statewide teacher strikes here in West Virginia. All of my work is completely done, for once, and I can... breathe? Read books? Sit idly without worrying about something academic that needs done? It's an odd feeling. 

Especially considering that this time last week I was so stressed and sleepless from the 12+ hours of homework I had, I broke down and claimed a mental health day. Which I never do. In my twelve years of school, I have never missed a class without a valid reason. Until now, apparently.

So it's nice to not be panicking. I kind of hope the teachers keep striking.

I'm a mess most of the time, if you haven't noticed.

Over the past few months, I've brought back my old habits one by one. I'm journaling again, reading books, turning everything into metaphors.  I want to start blogging again, too. Consistently™.

So this is my hesitant hello. *waves*