Reasons Why My English Teacher Has Concerns For My Sanity:

Does anyone else have that one group of friends that you just act insane around?  I certainly do. (We'll call them L, J, and A.)  And we all have English class together  I think you can see where I'm going with this. :D

Sometimes we do things we probably shouldn't.  We're not bad, don't get me wrong.  We're the "quiet" group, the group of nerds whom nobody at the beginning of the year suspected would do more than read books during class.  But it's true what people say-- "It's the quiet ones you've got to watch out for.  They're the thinkers."

Throughout this freshman year, we've been messing with our English teacher's mind.  For the purposes of this blog, I'll call her Mrs. Snickerdoodle. (That's not her actual name.)  Looking back at some of our recent shenanigans, I think she probably worries about us sometimes.  Here are just a few examples of why she has cause to question our mental stability:

Note:  Some of these are quite awful.

Reason #1:

Mrs. Snickerdoodle assigned a page in the Grammar book on reflective and intensive pronouns.  We were encouraged to get creative with our example sentences.  J and I exchanged grins, and you can probably imagine where this went.  We composed some funny ones, like "Way to go, Sherlock; give yourself a gold star."  and "Stephen hit himself with a stick." Then there were these:

"There's nobody in the world but myself and the Voices."

"We escaped from the asylum all by ourselves."

"I accidentally shot myself in the leg once."

"L, Rebecca, did you hide the body yourselves like I told you?"


Reason #2:

When asked to draw an inspirational poster for the football team, we all gathered 'round J's desk with our pencils.  The team was playing the Eagles that night, and after much debate, we drew a picture of an eagle being shot down by a knight with a flaming arrow.  The caption?  "The Eagles Are Going Down In Flames."

This occurred quite a few more times. Anytime we were told to make an inspirational poster for extra credit, we drew a picture of an animal burning alive.


Reason #3:

In October, when asked to write a scary short story, the four of us banded together.  Other kids in our class sketched together cute little plots about ghosts and Indian graveyards.

We wrote a bone-chilling tale about a five-year-old serial killer called "Little Timmy."  Little Timmy, as the story goes, has a friend named Paul.  But Paul isn't like most friends-- he lives inside Timmy's head and tells him to do things.  Timmy does Paul's bidding, which most commonly is murdering people by throwing them into an industrial-sized wood chipper.  Timmy then gets rid of the remains with a hose, and also the help of his large pit-bull, Cerberus.


Reason #4:

We sometimes exchange random tips on successfully hiding bodies.  We also like to tell creepy jokes in her hearing.

"What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead bodies?"

"I don't know. What?"

"I don't have a Ferrari in my garage."


Some of the looks on Mrs. Snickerdoodle's face are priceless.  Yeah, so... maybe it's time for us to give her a break. :)